You've built something real. Nobody can tell.
Six years of graft. Customers who rave about you. Work you're proud of. And a website you're slightly embarrassed by, an email list you've never emailed, and a Facebook page last updated when it still mattered.
Meanwhile the loud bloke down the road — the one whose work you've had to fix — is booked three months out. Not because he's better. Because he looks better.
Every month that stays true, it costs you jobs you never even heard about: the customers who searched, judged the shopfront, and rang someone else.
An agency would fix it for £3–5k a month and a six-week discovery phase. A cheap AI tool would hand you the same generic mush it hands everyone. So it stays on the someday list.
Someday is now 72 hours.
You've seen AI marketing. It reads like it was written by nobody, for nobody. Here's why this doesn't.
45 questions an agency charges a discovery day for.
Your real numbers. Your customers' exact words, pasted not paraphrased. The competitor you actually lose to, and why. Generic in, generic out — so we don't let generic in. Thin answers get bounced back before we build a thing.
Ten specialist passes, each building on the last.
Audit, buyer profile, message, offer, plan, copy, emails, social. Your dream buyer shapes your message; your message shapes your website; your website shapes your emails. Not one lazy mega-prompt.
A human reviews every line before it ships.
If it reads generic, it gets rebuilt or rewritten by hand. Nothing leaves the building on autopilot — that's the whole idea, and it's why this costs more than a tool and less than an agency.
Nine deliverables. Zero theory. All deployable the day they land.
Marketing audit & scorecard
Where you're leaking customers right now, graded, no punches pulled.
Dream buyer profile
Who actually pays you best, in enough detail to aim everything else.
Core message & voice guide
What to say, how you'd say it. Built from your customers' own words, not a template.
Offer architecture
How to package and price what you sell so choosing you is the obvious move.
90-day growth plan
Sized to the hours you actually have. A 10-hour plan for a 2-hour owner is a decoration.
Website copy pack
Home, about and sales page, written to convert, ready to paste.
12 ready-to-send emails
A 7-email welcome series and a 5-email promotion. Your list finally earns its keep.
30 days of social content
For the two platforms your customers are actually on. Hooks, captions, CTAs.
One-page business plan
The bank-and-partner-ready summary of all of it.
Sample packs from our founding beta will be shown here as they ship — real output, never stock mock-ups.
Built for operators, not dabblers.
You run a real business doing real revenue — trades, local services, coaching, e-commerce, B2B — and your marketing embarrasses the work. You want it fixed, not a course about fixing it.
You want a logo and vibes with no business behind it, you're after get-rich-quick, or you'd rather do it yourself. (Genuinely fine — this is for people who are done doing it themselves.)
One price. The whole department's output.
An agency charges £3–5k — and six weeks — for the discovery phase alone. This is the whole department's output, for a fifth of that, by Friday.
The 72-hour ship guarantee.
Your relaunch lands within 72 hours of your accepted intake, or you pay nothing — and keep everything we built. And if any of it reads generic after your included revision round, a strategist rewrites the hero assets by hand. We don't get to miss it quietly.
Every relaunch that ships has my signature on it. Not a support ticket, not a bot — me, having read your intake and your deliverables, deciding it's good enough to carry your business's name. If it isn't, you get my fixes before you ever see it.
Why only 20 a week?
Because a human signs off every relaunch, and that doesn't scale like a server does. The queue is first paid, first built. When the week's slots are gone, you're in next week's queue — the checkout tells you which week you're claiming.
Questions you're right to ask.
Is this just ChatGPT with extra steps?
What if my answers are rubbish?
What if I don't like it?
I've been trading 15 years — is this for new businesses?
Do I need any tools or tech?
Why is it so cheap / so expensive?
The business stays.
The amateur marketing goes.
You've already done the hard part — you built something worth marketing. The gap between the work and how it looks is costing you money every week, and it's now a 45-minute questionnaire away from closed.